Today, pickleball made me cry.
Growing up my childhood was all about academics and tennis tennis tennis. My dad was a USTA coach and I trained so much I hated it. Sure he taught me beautiful form + technique, but I never learned how to have fun. Even though it’s been years since I’ve stopped competing, I can still hear the yelling anytime I step on a court and my ball hits the net or goes out.
Winning was winning. But losing wasn’t losing. It was failing. Failing my coach, my dad, my team, and myself.
I cold turkey stopped playing tennis after HS because mentally, it gave me too much anxiety. Plus physically, I couldn’t play like I used to anymore. I had badly injured my wrist my sophomore season. My career on the court was over.
But today, many many lifetimes later – something in me asked to try something new.
It asked to try pickleball. Same-ish concept as tennis but smaller racquet, smaller court, and lighter ball.
At first, I was getting so frustrated at my timing bc the ball was bouncing differently and I was literally missing the ball and swinging at air! I kept yelling at myself the same way my coaches used to.
Later that night, Sam asked if I wanted to play a game and my immediate response was “absolutely not because it will ruin our relationship.”
Wow.
For the next 2 hrs we peeled the onion and man, there is a lot of trauma I need to work thru.
When Sam was asking me to play, he thought it would be a fun game.
But what I HEARD was he wanted to beat me. And if he beat me, it would mean me losing. And me losing, means me failing. And me failing means me being worthless. And worthless was how I felt anytime I lost a game.
Then he said something that brought me to tears. He said “You need to learn how to lose.”
When I heard that, I realized, omg. I had never been told it’s ok to fail. I’ve only ever been coached how to win, never how to lose…without losing my self worth. I started crying.
I’ll always be grateful for my dad and my tennis journey but today I need to begin undoing my past in order to move forward.
❤️🩹Cassey
PS: I’m wearing the @popflexactive Mockneck shruggie (s/m), corset bra (xs) + pirouette skort (s). I’m 5’5”.
39 comments
I’m sorry I’m so glad you overcame that ik it can be hard ❤
Day 1 of asking for a longer version of the absolutely dreamy skirt you are wearing. I understand that some of the longer designs aren't as flattering, but I think this skirt would be the perfect candidate for a more modest look.
Running does the same thing to me. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully try again. Every time I do it I instantly hear the negative comments from within. ❤
Im happy you could overcome it! But also my mom is obsessed with pickleball now, and I'm suprised to find people who actually know what it is. Its gaining a lot in popularity now, and your skills are top tier 💗💗
omg im learning pickleball in pe right now
Hi, how do you do your sketches for designs?
This outfit is so cute
This is really inspirational!!
…but is anyone gonna talk abt how cool the slo mo hitting ball was-
I love playing this game at college! I have always struggled with self worth, but through the help of God and watching your videos, I can say I’m recovering and edgy so much! Thank you for all of your videos! You are an inspiration!❤
OMG HEY I
WAS SCROLLING ON SHORTS AND
I SAW A GIRL THAT STOLE UR design AND WAS ACTING LIKE IT WAS HERS
Girl i think halara is stealing your designs
Please show a lot of pickleball outfits.^^
I’m so happy for u!! Also when is the restock for the Cora backpacks??
Can you try something for males if you haven't already?
“learn how to lose the game, without losing my self-worth”
i’m a swimmer, and there’s so many times at meets where the person that went right before me lost, and they were crying. i mean a full-blown meltdown. so many people don’t get how to be okay with not being first. i’m not saying this really has anything to do with your case, since you said it’s trauma. luckily, my mom is trying to be the best coach she can, and she taught me how to be competitive, and have a drive, but still be proud if i lose, because i know i tried. now if i didn’t really try, that’s a whole different story…😅 but, to all of you out there that only think losing has a bad connotation, think about the good part of losing (not just in sports, in life)! you made a mistake. you can learn from that mistake. the next time you try whatever that is you may have failed in, you’re more likely to do it right, as long as you put in effort to learn from those mistakes. have a good day/night, and please keep this advice in mind! i mean, of course i’m not minerva (not from harry potter, i’m talking about the goddess of wisdom), but i still think you can learn something from everyone.
day 10of asking for a robe
😘_Este vídeo foi feito, vamos esperar um momento,https://youtube.com/shorts/-PXbAjHeRRI?feature=share agradecemos o esforço que você fez por nós..💕
Este é um dos melhores shows, eu não poderia ter ido além de apenas assistir da tela, se eu estivesse chocado
Heyyyyyy I have a question have u or can u make volleyball shorts because the nike ones have a 🐫 please and thank u 🙏 ❤
Hey so unfortunately I don't have any other social media to contact you but I'm pretty sure someone is stealing your designs? I've seen some ads from something called "HALARA" on YouTube and they have a skirt and leggins which are designed almost exactly like how I remember yours
I was checking your store, so much is out of stock and I just wanted to say congrats 🎉. Because honestly, that’s amazing. I know you don’t need to hear this from me but It’s so clear you work hard. You’re passionate, and you’re connected to your audience for both new ideas and support. At first I thought your store was pricey, but it’s just not, because you have designer quality, simply because you love what you do and that’s hard to find. I’m hoping on buying a blush cloud hoodie when they’re back in stock because the first hoodie I bought washes me out. (First time I bought anything in that color, oh well.)
I’ve also bought one of your bottles and I love it. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the future.
(I wanted to write that even before watching the video so I hope it doesn’t come off bad due to the sensitive content in the video)
I have a lot of childhood trauma myself. To the point where socializing with people in the real world at 17 gave me actual culture shock. I was basically locked in a house for 16 years without any outside socialization besides school, and when people aren’t even coming over the house and u can’t go over others, you simply cannot learn how to socialize. I don’t think people understand just how vital it is to be going over houses at young ages. When you’re young, that’s when you’re learning social skills. It’s the most important time to be out there. I have to relearn the world now because I was taught that there was my home which was “safe” and then the world, which was unsafe and out to get you.
Can you plzz make a work out kit for hijabi muslimsssss plzzzz one of my friends bought it and it was very high quality
Yes, forgive those who have hurt you and you will be forgiven of much!
You're Awesome! I love you shorts,
When you hit 8M can you make a custom cake??
Can you show off different outfit combos from your clothing collection I love your styles and I want to see what would work well together as I want to buy a large amount of your clothes someday to almost fill my closet
Hi Stacy!
Do you have any workout ideas or suggestions for teenagers?
(sorry my english is not very good)
Where can I buy that the design you make?
Hey, HALARA stole your skirt design, just saw an ad for the exact design you made
Where can I buy your clothes?
I'm so upset! You make these wonderful creations and listen to the people, and then bigger companies steal your hard work! I just got an ad for a company called Halara, and they made an exact copy of your tennis skort you made!!
😍 so cute
#blogilatesPlankChallenge what happened with that tell us more
Hi I have a suggestion for clothes it’s like a jumper/hoodie that I can work out with and leggings like a blanket almost because as a teen girl personally for me it’s more easier and comfortable to exercise and workout with comfy clothes. If this is not possible it’s fine 🙂
Can you please make the camelless leggings for kids
Can you make a lunchbox please??🥺
Is it gonna be any more updates about Sheehan or are we all forgetting that?
Pickle ball?
Look at that follow thru!! 😍🎉❤ You look fabulous darling! 😘
im starting to like and love you na you are truly an inspiration to everyone who is feeling down right now 😇😇